


Walk Tall

by midnightninja14



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Bittersweet, Gen, Noctis Week 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 13:22:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11898624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightninja14/pseuds/midnightninja14
Summary: To my younger self…Noctis took a deep breath, before taking a step forward.…There is never enough time, no matter how much you try to make more of it. No matter how much of it you have, it’ll never feel like enough. So you have to make the most of the little time you have.





	Walk Tall

**Author's Note:**

> For Noctis Week - Day 1: To my younger self.
> 
> Write a short thing, I said.... and then I wrote almost 3k words hahA
> 
> As always, thank you to [The_Asset6](http://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Asset6/pseuds/The_Asset6) for being a sweetheart!

_To my younger self_ …

Noctis took a deep breath, before taking a step forward.

_…There is never enough time, no matter how much you try to make more of it. No matter how much of it you have, it’ll never feel like enough. So you have to make the most of the little time you have. Do this, so you can die with no regrets._

He stretched out his stiff muscles, calling a weapon to his hands, Umbra’s barking keeping him grounded on the battle as he fought the daemons in his way.

_Because, younger me, we were born to die for this world. Our destiny is more important than you can imagine, and we can’t let everyone down. But before the end, there are still things you should do. Some of which are things that I can’t do anymore._

He stared up at the dark sky, the growls of monsters roaring in the distance as he made his way out of the once beautiful and lively resort. Noctis remembered how clear the water had been, how bright the sun had shone, and how friendly the people had been. If he closed his eyes, he could almost see it, and if he tuned out the foreboding noise of daemons creeping nearby, he could imagine he was back there, in that happier time with his friends beside him as they explored Galdin Quay.

_...Tell Dad you love him. Promise him that you’ll make him proud, and tell him how much you appreciated having such a great dad who tried his best to be there for you while still being a strong king. Tell him that you appreciated how he let you live your life as much as he could, allowing you to move out and even encouraging your decision to get a normal part-time job. Thank him for the way he supported you, and even if matters of the kingdom often kept him away, tell him you always knew he cared about you. Thank him for loving you, and tell him you love him in return before you can’t anymore. Say you’re sorry for the way things turned out, and apologize for how you couldn’t make things any easier for him. For how you couldn’t save him. Tell him that you forgive him for not telling you about what your destiny meant, because you understand. Maybe not right away, but eventually, you understand that he had only ever wanted you to be happy, and ignorance is bliss, confusing as it may be._

Noctis managed to keep himself from gaping when he met Talcott again, the passage of time all the more evident as he looked at the boy before him. He still seemed so young in Noct’s eyes, and yet he was technically a man, one who was the same age as Noctis had been when he had started his journey. But there was a youthfulness to Talcott’s face that still made him seem to be only a boy, a youthfulness that Noctis had lost somewhere in his decade within the Crystal. Seeing his own older appearance for the first time in the truck’s side-view mirror, he almost couldn’t recognize himself. If not for his blue eyes, he might have believed it was a disheveled version of his dad staring back at him.

Glancing down, ripping his gaze away from the reflection of the weary man with stress-lines permanently etched into his skin, he stared for a moment at the Ring of the Lucii sitting heavily on his finger and remembered how he had received it. Thought of the kind woman who had died so that he could move towards his fate to save the world.

_Thank Luna for everything. For how she was like a light, seeming to always know when you needed a little faith to keep moving forward. Write her a letter and tell her how much you cherished her friendship. Tell her how much you loved the peaceful days back in Tenebrae, with the sweet smell of sylleblossoms always lingering in the air and the sound of everyone’s laughter echoing in Fenestala Manor. Those days back then were so much fun, together with both Luna and Ravus, while our parents watched us with smiles on their faces. I know you miss them, just as much as I do._

_Tell her that you’re sorry. Sorry for how it was your fault that Niflheim attacked her home, killed her mother, and imprisoned her and her brother. Sorry for how you couldn’t save her in the end, or Ravus._

Arriving in Hammerhead, he noted immediately how different it was from the place he remembered. This new version of it reeked of difficult times, of constant battles and struggles to survive. And then Noct finally saw the three people he had wondered about constantly, worried about endlessly within the confines of the Crystal. Three men, aged and battle-worn, having lost any boyishness that had had ten years ago. Different but still familiar, just as Noctis himself was.

Seeing them again filled Noctis with a mixture of relief, happiness, sadness, guilt. He hadn’t meant to keep them waiting for so long.

_Your friends… make sure they all know how much you care for them, and how much you appreciate the fact that they’ve stayed by your side all this time. They’re your brothers-in-arms, and the best friends you ever could have asked for. Make sure you let them know that. I will too, but it won’t hurt to let them know earlier, so they’ll never forget._

_Do all you can to make them happy, just like they do for you._

_Thank Ignis for being the first friend you ever had. Even if the two of you were brought together by your status as prince and his role as your advisor-to-be, even if sometimes you think that he only stays by your side for duty, and even if sometimes he forgets to look past Prince Noctis to see his friend Noct underneath. His devotion, his care all these years, the trust and loyalty--you couldn’t have asked for a better friend. Not many people would look after you the way he did for all this time, so make sure he knows you appreciate it. Appreciate the way he spends time with you, the way he cooks for you and even cleans after you because he knows that you can’t. Not then, not in that emotional state--he knows, and he understands. Besides, where else are you going to find a friend like him who not only takes care of you, but is an amazing cook and baker? Tell him how much you secretly love trying all his attempts at the Tenebraen pastries you had in an easier and happier time. ...Though, maybe that isn’t something you have to tell him. Ignis knows a lot, after all, but it doesn’t hurt to say it out loud._

He glanced towards Ignis, noting the visor that covered his unseeing eyes, and Noct felt a familiar pang of guilt in his chest. And yet, despite his blindness, Ignis managed to move around with confidence to his steps, and he still looked impeccably dressed, as though he could still pick out his outfits to look as proper as he tended to prefer. Past the guilt constantly swirling beneath the surface for Noctis, he felt an undercurrent of pride at the way his oldest friend had adapted and survived.

_Apologize to Ignis. For everything. For all the trouble you’ve given him over the years, and for everything he’ll have to face by standing beside you. Help him out, younger me, don’t let him do everything alone. Even Specs needs to relax sometimes, he just needs some help doing it. You guys should go stargazing again, since it was something the two of you always did as kids. You both loved the stars, so don’t skip on chances to really take in the stars, the sights. Make sure that Ignis stops worrying about you sometimes so that he can see the world. Oh, and stock up on Ebony for him. Gods know he deserves it, just don’t let him go overboard on drinking it._

Noctis turned his gaze towards his Shield, taking in the new hairstyle and facial hair that made his friend seem so much older than he remembered. Noct could still vividly remember how Gladio had looked the first time they had met, and naturally he could recall the last version of Gladio he had seen--so it was unbelievably odd to realize how his friend had grown and aged. Still, even after all these years, Gladio still acted every part an Amicitia Shield. He sat close to Noct as per habit to protect him from any possible threats, seeming relaxed but his body trained to react to even the slightest disturbance. And perhaps, after ten years of darkness and daemons at every turn, those instincts had been heightened for Gladio’s own survival.

_Thank Gladio for staying by your side, even if the two of you had a rocky beginning. Thank him for protecting you all this time, and for helping you learn how to fight. Appreciate the way he always tries to help you whenever your doubts and anxiety made it hard to think, and the way he snaps you out of your thoughts that make it hard to move forward. Gladio is kind of like the big brother you never had, and you know he’d never let anything happen to you if he could help it, so thank him for everything. As much as you hate camping, you liked going with Gladio since you were always able to fish in peace, right? The two of you had fun in those calm nights, camping under the stars and sharing stories. And Gladio would take you to the arcades whenever you wanted to go, or he went with you whenever you wanted to explore the city to assuage any of Dad’s worries about you being alone on the streets. Thank him for being an amazing Shield, the best you ever could have imagined--one who was your friend._

_Make sure Gladio takes time for himself. He’s so focused on you and his duty as your Shield, sometimes he doesn’t allow himself to deal with things. He doesn’t give himself time to breathe, time to grieve. Buy him some of those romance novels he loves to deny enjoying, and ask him about the stories, listen to him and give him attention. It’s something that makes him happy, you know? Help him enjoy it even more by actually listening to him and maybe even asking him about them. He’ll appreciate it, trust me. It feels good when people you care about listen to you talk about things you’re passionate about, right? You can tease him about it too, which is a bonus, but don’t go too far with it._

_….Apologize to him too. Apologize for not being a better prince--a better king, one that they deserved. Promise that you’ll try, for all of them. And apologize for the future, because there will come a time when Gladio will be forced to go against his duty as your Shield._

He tore his eyes away from his Shield, momentarily looking up at the dark, empty sky and wishing he could see the stars again. Noct shook that thought away, turning to Prompto and asking if his friend still took pictures, to which Prom grinned, a shy imitation of the bright smiles he used to have. Seeing Prompto holding his old camera tightly, comfortably, happily showing off all the pictures he had taken, almost made Noctis feel like everything was the same as it had been ten years ago. But the soft wrinkles of age marked into his friend’s face, the tired eyes, and the newfound scruff of hair under his chin were clear indicators that they weren’t the young boys they had once been.

_Thank Prompto for being the first friend you ever made that wasn’t tied to you by duty or royal blood. Thank him for being like a breath of fresh air in the midst of all your royal obligations, and thank him for helping you feel like a normal person as opposed to being the Crown Prince of Lucis. Even though he isn’t connected to you through you being royalty, he still decided to stay by your side and fight with you, purely because he’s your friend. Appreciate that, and appreciate his heartwarming care and concern for you--for all of you. Prompto is sometimes so concerned about other people’s well-being, he doesn’t think about himself. He has so many doubts and worries, so try your best to reassure him of how much you appreciate having him by your side, and how he belongs. He’s your dear friend, so don’t let him forget that._

_Check in on him, be there for him. Ask him how he’s doing, spend time with him so you both can chase away the loneliness together. Compliment his pictures, because they’re amazing snapshots of memories and you know he puts his heart into them. Take some of him too, because he deserves to be in the pictures, he’s an important part of the group. Thank him for the pictures, because they help with remembering happy times, and that is unbelievably precious. Thank him for his optimism that made the dark days just a bit brighter. He’s one of your best friends, an important person, and a true Lucian. Let him know that not only you, but everyone, thinks that of him._

_Apologize for not always being there for him the way he was there for you. Apologize for the times you hurt him without meaning to, and apologize for the pain the future will bring that you can’t save him from._

_...You can’t save everyone from everything, and I think that’s the hardest thing to come to terms with._

Noctis stared at his friends as they all sat together outside of the caravan in Hammerhead, and despite all the time that had passed, it felt normal to be together with them. They all fell together immediately, almost by instinct, as though Noctis hadn’t been gone for ten years. They informed Noct about things that had happened in his absence, sometimes interjecting the more serious topic of discussion with fun stories and jokes. The conversation shifted to something more lighthearted, and the soft laughter and their smiles as they reminisced on happier times had Noctis smiling as well, a weight momentarily lifted from his heart.  

They had moved on without him, and as he watched the way the three of them interacted together, he swallowed down the vague feelings of bitterness, loneliness, _sadness_  and instead focused on the relief he felt because he knew they would be there for each other. They would stay together, even when he was gone, and that was exactly what Noct wanted.

_Younger me, remember all the adventures you and Ignis had together, running down the halls of the Citadel and exploring the world through books and stories? Remember all the inside jokes, remember the little pranks, remember all the fun you used to have together? Remember messing around with Gladio after the two of you became friends? Remember all the fishing trips, all the times you kicked his ass at a videogame, all the exciting spars where he’d grin with pride when you managed to beat him and the good-natured ribbing when you lost? Remember Prompto showing you things around the city you had never seen before? Remembering going to an arcade for the first time with him, and how much fun you had? Remember all the stupid things the two of you would do and laugh about, having fun like normal teenagers do?_

They were around a campfire again, the crackling of the fire and the far-off sound of monsters the only things to pierce the silence between them. When Noctis closed his eyes, he could see his friends younger, happier, could hear the easy banter between them as they laughed together under the stars. How he wished they were back there, in easier times, unscathed by reality.

But they weren’t. And Noct couldn’t waste anymore time. They deserved to know the truth.

And so, he opened his eyes, ignoring the way they stung with unshed tears. He took in the sight of his friends, older and weary and _strong_. How had he gotten so lucky, to have such good friends still beside him after all this time?

They truly were the best. And he told them that, after telling them everything. The true destiny of the Chosen King was harder to tell them than he had believed it would be, and it hurt more than he could explain, to see the tears in their eyes and hear the shakiness of their voices.

_Never forget those bright days, and the light within them._

_Remember it all fondly, all the warm times with Dad, Luna, and all the guys. Treasure those memories, and cherish the people you care about. Appreciate all the good in your life, and don’t leave things left unsaid. Tell everyone how much you care about them, thank them for everything._

_And most importantly, younger me…_

Noctis stared up at the ruins of his home, the city he had grown up in, now deserted and destroyed. Underneath his melancholy was a steel resolve, and he kept his head held high, his eyes determined as he moved onwards into the city with his closest friends beside him.

He would take back his home and bring back the light. For everyone.

_Walk tall._

**Author's Note:**

> I love my boy, my darling prince, he deserves the world
> 
> Thanks for reading! :D
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](http://midnightninja14.tumblr.com) here!


End file.
